Column: Consent is what challenges rape culture
Leigh Meryhew
Issue date: 2/23/10 Section: Opinion
Lately I have noticed a lot of pain that accompanies being socialized as a female. In the last few weeks, I have watched my friends be abused by men who they supposedly trusted in physical relationships; where in the end, the men were never really as truthful as they could have been about having herpes or sleeping with numerous womyn when committed to a monogamous relationship with their partner.
I have watched the suffering my female-bodied friends have felt when they were sexually assaulted by someone they knew, trusted and respected.
And even more still, I was recently raped by one of my long-term partners-someone who I've supported, loved and respected whole-heartedly for the last two years. What is going on here?
This is my attempt to smash patriarchy through a keyboard and several cups of coffee.
The truth is, we live in a rape culture. Patriarchy permeates more than just in the social sector of a classroom (yeah, I am talking to you jocky prep boy who won't shut up during morning lecture).It radiates into every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.
Unfortunately, when I write the term "rape culture," most male-bodied students will either disregard my intention with the phrase or take this column as an insult to their manliness (or lack thereof). However, if you ever wish to exist outside of a world where you are taught to assume that you can have sex with all womyn and fight all men (inside and outside of your heads), then you might try and read up for a few more lines.
Rape, internalized from the mainstream media, does not always manifest itself in a dark alley with a stranger.
On the contrary, most violence (sexual and otherwise) against womyn happens from people they know, most often their partners. There are not enough words to describe when someone is raped.
There should be words to describe when, "He told me he'd break up with me if I didn't," or "I was sleeping," or "I was too drunk and didn't know what was going on," or "I didn't think he'd stop if I said no so I didn't say anything."
I have watched the suffering my female-bodied friends have felt when they were sexually assaulted by someone they knew, trusted and respected.
And even more still, I was recently raped by one of my long-term partners-someone who I've supported, loved and respected whole-heartedly for the last two years. What is going on here?
This is my attempt to smash patriarchy through a keyboard and several cups of coffee.
The truth is, we live in a rape culture. Patriarchy permeates more than just in the social sector of a classroom (yeah, I am talking to you jocky prep boy who won't shut up during morning lecture).It radiates into every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.
Unfortunately, when I write the term "rape culture," most male-bodied students will either disregard my intention with the phrase or take this column as an insult to their manliness (or lack thereof). However, if you ever wish to exist outside of a world where you are taught to assume that you can have sex with all womyn and fight all men (inside and outside of your heads), then you might try and read up for a few more lines.
Rape, internalized from the mainstream media, does not always manifest itself in a dark alley with a stranger.
On the contrary, most violence (sexual and otherwise) against womyn happens from people they know, most often their partners. There are not enough words to describe when someone is raped.
There should be words to describe when, "He told me he'd break up with me if I didn't," or "I was sleeping," or "I was too drunk and didn't know what was going on," or "I didn't think he'd stop if I said no so I didn't say anything."
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